Home > News and politics > My response to some neo-con chain letter going around

My response to some neo-con chain letter going around

This was posted on the JCF and I typed up a response. I figured I’d share it here too. Apparently this is some email that’s going around.

WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
‘My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Since Congress does not want to …spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world’s nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It’ll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth .
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don’t care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put ’em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty – starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we’ll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country’s oil needs for decades to come. If you’re an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, ‘darn tootin.’
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won’t forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought : You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America .. Thank you and good night.’
If you can read this in English, thank a soldier.
(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let’s get this to every USA computer!)

Here’s my response.

Before I start, let me say that I’m a registered Republican and tend to vote for Libertarian candidates. The document above sounds like it was written by a backwoods redneck Palin supporter.
1. forces in Iraq – we currently have more troops in Germany. Why aren’t we trying to get them out?
2. allies concerning Iraq -so you say we shouldn’t have been there and then turn around and punish those who agree with you? Doesn’t make sense. Those earthquake victims in Haiti should have sent troops to Iraq, dammit.
3. warning to terrorists – this is our position now. How’s that been working?
4. leaving NATO/France/Russia – treaty organizations are generally bad (and pretty much started WWI), so here’s one I agree with. We should leave the UN too.
5. UN delegates have unpaid parking tickets? Why is that a big deal? 10,000 warrants are issued in my county alone for unpaid parking tickets.
6. Border security – an antiquated concept. I’m for free immigration. If you want to live here, then come in and fill out some paperwork. No 10 year wait lists, no graduating up from visa to green card to citizen. We waste so much money trying to defend our borders when all the majority want is to live and work here. That means more money coming into the economy, which is good for everyone.
7. NAFTA – we need to get rid of NAFTA and do away with all trade restrictions and tariffs. Let the free market decide who’s best rather than government subsidies and restrictions. If China makes a better mousetrap, let me buy it without any added costs.
8. Drilling in Alaska – yep, let’s ruin one of the last natural beauties of the world by sticking oil derricks all over it. We need to move away from oil, not drill for more of it. It’s going to run out eventually; why not look at alternatives now? Canada is our biggest oil source by far, so any argument about funding terrorism in the Middle East is moot.
9. Isolationism – do you honestly think any country with unfettered internet access can be isolated? It worked in the early 1800s, but it could never work now.
10. Homelessness/hunger – both worthy items to give money and time to. But the government should not and cannot force me to be charitable. If you care so strongly about these, volunteer at a local shelter or soup kitchen. I guarantee that the guy on the corner will appreciate you much more for that than paying higher taxes to support more government bureaucracy.
11. The only soldiers who truly fought for their country were in the Revolutionary War, War of 1812, the Civil War, and the Pacific theater in WWII. All other wars have been about power grabs or fighting the Soviets/Communism. Sorry vets, but it’s true.

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